Dear Camille

Today your turned 12 years old. That's 144 months but hey, whose counting? Well, me actually. Because those months went by so fast! It seems like just yesterday you were a little baby! (How's that for original writing?) I remember that day with so much clarity actually.

And not to be about me, on this your most wonderful birthday, but I was kind of a hot mess back then. I was too skinny, so insecure, and really just biding my time before grad school. Remember what I got you for your baby shower? I bet you're rolling your eyes right now thinking, "a burp cloth, and now Lizzie will follow that declaration with a heinous childhood story that she's told me a thousand times." Well actually no, it wasn't a burp cloth. It was a CD. Called "Jagged Little Pill" by Alanis Morissette. "Who the heck is she?" You're probably asking, being careful to say "heck" even in your mind, because you've grown up all pure and kind and unlike the rest of the family, curse-free. Well, I'll tell you who she was. She was too skinny, so insecure, and really just biding her time before . . . before . . . before . . . well, I don't know the end of that phrase because I don't think Alanis was biding her time, Camille, I think she had already achieved her dream by the time I laid my hands on that screeching CD. From what I understood, she had gone through a lot of pain and grief and she came out the other end just fine. In fact, fine enough to put out a top selling, award winning CD.

And I desire those same things for you.

Not the pain and the grief part. And not even the award winning CD part. Although, I know you actually could produce an award winning anything if you wanted to. In fact, you already have, haven't you? After moving to a new town and skipping the first grade, you were one of the top four award winning scholars at your school by the end of the sixth grade. You have always enjoyed reading, writing, and arithmetic (joking about arithmetic, we all know you're a Rago at heart, hence no way, now how, no math) and you've always worked hard in school. So hard. "I know I know, Liz, you've told me all this a gazillion times!" I can see you saying. Well, I want to say this one last thing, this one last time (today), for old times sake:

Camille, I'm so proud of you.

It's September, you have just started junior high, and I hope you enjoy every moment of this part of your life. 12 years old is the beginning of adolescence and I'm sure if growing up with Raven, Lizzie McGuire, and HM, has taught you nothing else, it's that high school is full of comedy. Lots and lots and lots of comedy. It's also full of disappointments. And that's where the pain and the grief part may come into play. I actually believe that you won't experience too much distress in high school though. I think you're smarter than to sneak into the school pool during finals week and go for a leisurely swim with your friends, until you all hear the PE teacher unlock the gym door. After which you run into the bathroom and climb out that same window you climbed into, falling into a bush which also served as a hiding place while another teacher rounded the building looking for you. (And you're in nothing but a swim suit).

Sorry, had a brief flashback for a moment.

I know you're asking something, Camille, because you're a curious girl, an analytical girl, a girl who can't be fooled. Remember when you found the magazine in my house with Zac Efron on the cover? I was all, "it's for a client!" And you were all, "uh huh, Liz, a client," Truth is, your gut instinct was right. I had just watched Hairspray and wanted to know more about the lead dude. Ok, ok, ok, for about a week, I was crushin'! And the thing is, you KNEW I was crushin'!

So it doesn't surprise me that right now the question in your mind is, "Um Liz . . . why did you get me a screaming lady CD when I was 3 days old?" Well, girlfriend, I got you that CD for the same reason I made that baby quilt with the colors. You know, the colors! The dark browns and the dark blues and the dark greens. Did I mention that Alanis wrote that CD during the dark times in her life? You may not be a quilter, but I know you can see the pattern here. Why I got you that particular CD and made that particular quilt, I'll never know, but I do know that they were a reflection of my inside before you came and brought me joy. Your bright blue eyes were born during a disappointing time in my life. You quite literally lit up my world. So thanks for that, Sweetheart, I'll never forget it.

Point is, Camille, you're smart, you're fun, you're gorgeous, and you're 12. So there will be moments of comedy and moments of discomfort. Both are in your hands to control. But regardless of whichever moment you are experiencing at whatever time in your life, like Alanis, I know you'll come out the other end just fine. (and I know you'll achieve your dreams).

Happy Birthday Sweetheart.

Love
Auntie Liz

p.s. Huge hugs from Uncle Tevita.